thoughts and feelings – Page 2

Whole: Cleaning and Decluttering with FlyLady

When I feel like life is running me over, I always revert back to what basics am I not doing.

Lately, I feel like the chaos in my house is controlling me, not me control it. So, back to a daily routine I go. I have this vision, of what I want my routines to be, but it doesn’t happen. Because of life, toddler meltdowns, or my own laziness.

Years ago, a friend told me about FlyLady. I have started and stopped, flapped and crashed. I really like FlyLady and her baby steps.

Especially, step one, which some days is all I can do.

Shine your sink.

Seriously, I am lazy. I don’t want to be. I would love to have a spotless house, and not have to look for random things.

Now that my methylated B Vitamins are starting to kick in, I am feeling so energized. I am jumping in and starting FlyLady again! Here is my email I sent as part of my Babystep Day 2!

Dear FlyLady,

I don’t know how many times I have started your baby steps. But recently I have been feeling overwhelmed, and I was cleaning out my email, and I found a folder of saved emails from you. And I thought, why not. 15 minutes, and maybe in a few weeks we might be actually eating dinner at the table. Low expectations I know, but every month I tell myself this month, we will be eating dinner at the table before the month is over. I hope by Sept 13th, I can tell you we are!

Here is my shining sink. Plus, for the first time since elementary school I have tomorrows outfit picked out.

Feeling overwhelmed

I have been feeling run down the last few days, and trying to get figure out what is my deal. I am an emotional person, and bad news, especially, when I have been working so hard, just devastates me.

I have been kicking against the pricks of genetics for years, and now that I know what the answer is I just feel like I can’t fix it.

I have been trying to do everything at once, lose weight, increase muscle mass, become a runner, clean my house, become organized.

And I am expecting this over night… It doesn’t work that way. We all know it.

I need to take a step back for a bit. I am going to focus on just eating controlled portions and training for my half marathon. No 21-Day fix workouts on top over everything, no beating myself up because it took me a week to fold the laundry (and then another to put it away…).

I need to be gentle to myself, I am not super woman.

21 Day Fix Day 3:

Day three is coming to a close, and things are going well. Surprisingly, I am staying under my calorie goal, tally chart thingy. Last time I did a round of 21 day fix, I was going over fruits, veggies, fats, everything. This time around, I am staying within the containers, and actually having a hard time finding a way to fit them all in!

Also, Half Marathon training is going well. Already got 2 runs in, and tomorrow is a rest day for runs, and Pilates for 21 day fix.

I have a couple of recipes I want to share, but since I personally, like recipes with pictures, it is taking a me some time. I guess, I should just accept that I don’t have a fancy camera, so the recipes will be having crappy cell phone pictures.

I am hopeful to have the first one out this weekend.

So here is a little teaser for what is could be…

What do I want from this blog?

I started this blog as a way to talk my way through Whole30, without the “tough love”.

I dislike that term, by the way. Love isn’t tough. It is kind and patient, gentle and inviting. It shouldn’t make you feel like everything you have done is worthless. Which is how I felt using the forum.

But now I am done with Whole30, But I don’t want to be done blogging.

I don’t want to be another “mommy blogger” or another “mommy food blogger” or another “paleo food blogger”. But I think it is a little inevitable, I am a mom, I LOVE food, and I am paleo.

I am not the type to develop a new recipe weekly for you.

I think I will take this blog in a weight loss and health improvement blog. That is my goal in life, to nourish my body to be healthy and whole. With a little parenting, little spirituality, a little of this and a little of that, all mixed it. It is my blog. I titled it with the word, WHOLE because, I wanted it to be about, the whole of my life.

So with that, it is August. Whole30 is done. And I am on to the next thing. This month, I am working on a couple of things, half marathon training, doing the 21-Day Fix, and I want to improve my scripture study.

Half Marathon Training: I found a training calendar, and I need to just do it. I also recruited a friend to do it with me!

21-Day Fix: I know I posted I was going to do the 21-Day Fix Extreme, but I want to do that half marathon, so I thought I should cut back a little.

Scripture Study: It seems like every Fast Sunday, at least one person gets up and says “Hey you! Why aren’t you reading and studying the scriptures? It is promised that you will have more time, more energy, more everything, if you just devote that time every morning to your Heavenly Father.” And then I go, “Crap, they are talking right to me, I should do that.”

Sometimes I am great at it. But most of the time, It never crosses my mind to even crack those suckers open.

This month, I am going to read daily. There is a couple of great places to get a daily verse set and question. This year, I wanted to finish the Book of Mormon again, since I haven’t do that since high school… I am in Alma, two months behind of BofM365 instagram feed… time to double up!

Whole30, will I do it again?

Probably not.

I like sugar, and sweets, and for the love of food, I just want to eat when and what everyone else is.

Maybe if my family, in-laws included, ate more closer to a paleo diet, I would do this again. Right now, I just feel like I have missed out of actually being a part of things.

I am present, and participating, but I am not enjoying that cake, or dinner that everyone else is. I had to bring my own dinner, so that it was safe.

I guess it comes down to feeling judged about my food choices.

I have been seeing a few changes. I was talking to a friend the other day about choices and self-control. She is a dietitian and I mentioned how I passed up a cookie or 2 for 3 BANANAS! She said:

“that while sometimes the “healthier” choice isn’t always the better choice, if you are going to follow moderation. Sometimes, being able to have that cookie, and not denying yourself, keeps you within you goals.”

I need to work on moderation and developing self-control.

I wasn’t pain free during it either. On Day 22, I had a pains like I had eaten foods I know not to eat. Not fun, when you are working so hard.

Working with my doctor and not getting the answers we all want, and then still having issues while on this super clean diet, is frustrating. And day 22 wasn’t the only day of pain.

I have decided to continue some of these principles in daily life. Mainly the added sugar. And to really keep track of what my gut and body does after eating.

One thing I learned, was how added sugars are in EVERYTHING!! Seriously, this is something is something that really should be addressed. Why does sugar need to be in everything?

Now that the 30 day strict period is over, I am going relax a bit. LIke pepperoni, I couldn’t find a sugar free pepperoni, but in things we eat daily, I will keep sugar free.

The SWYPO food rule, that’s one that I can not continue. I am a lazy eater. I hate eating a salad daily, a sandwich, or even a wrap would be nice.

Other than that, I think this is something that I could do indefinitely. On to the reintroduction phase. Hopefully, I don’t react too badly. Starting with some cheese tomorrow (and corn, I am really looking forward to popcorn at our Friday night movie!)