Tag: death

Happiness and Sorrow

I haven’t given an update on our Daily Doings, as life has just been BUSY! Thanksgiving we drove up to Dallas, and spent a few days with my cousin and her family. Mr. Z has a second cousin who is 6 month younger than him and they had a blast chasing each other, riding bikes, and being boys.

Then for Christmas, we drove down to San Antonio to spend it with most of my mom’s side of the family. I believe at the height of the weekend there was 22 people in my grandparents house!

We had a good Christmas, and Mr. Z is enjoying all of his gifts. I think his Aunt won the Best Gift award this year with a set of gears. With his imagination and his desire to understand the world, those gears are constantly being constructed into some new contraption.

In January, Mr. Wonderful and I started school back up. We had a quiet birthday celebration for me. And the next day we had an ER visit.

Mr. Z almost cut the tip of his finger off and got four stitches to reattach the tip. It was terrible and bloody, with tears and screams.

I know that all the medical procedures that had to be performed were necessary, but listening and watching your child scream, yell, and fight against what is happening to him, is not easy. It was repeated, when we got his stitches out. I just hope now that he will be able to understand that hard things are necessary.

Our January has not been a great start for 2017. With an ER visit in our little family, our extended family has had its share of tears. Our hearts have been heavy with the death of my grandpa Dick. On Mr. Wonderful’s side, his grandfather is slowly approaching the other side. His dear mother has been by her father’s side for over a week. We pray for comfort and peace. We wish that we could be closer, so that we can physically mourn with those we love.

I didn’t get a chance to post this before, but Wednesday morning, Mr. Wonderful’s grandfather passes away peacefully in his sleep. We are grateful for his influence in our lives and wish peace to all who knew him.

I am hurting too

Checking email is a part of a normal morning routine. Collapsing on the kitchen floor into an emotional mess, is not.

Email

At my age, news of parents passing should not be something I should be dealing with. Death is something my group of girl friends from high school is becoming undesirably familiar with.

We have had grandparents pass.
Parents.
And a child.

Death is a part of life. But is doesn’t make it easier.

The sudden loss of a parent comes with an indescribable pain. It pierces your soul. It rips your heart apart and your soul comes screaming out with a force so strong your body just fails.

You start thinking about every minor detail of your life that you haven’t told them. For me, it wasn’t just minor details. Maybe that makes it harder.

Picking up the pieces, finding the will to just go, becomes a primal instinct, a flight or fight response.

My mom died 3 years ago. I was 10 weeks pregnant. I was waiting to tell her in person. The plan was to drive over for a surprise visit and tell her in person on Saturday. She died 6 days before.

This is different, they had a little bit of warning, but that doesn’t help the grieving process.

Grief of a parent is life long.

When something good happens, it is there.
When your child does something funny, sweet, milestones, birthdays.
When your child is misbehaving
When you’re at church
When your friend tells you that their mom is gone too.

I know that this weekend, isn’t about me and my grief. It isn’t about me and my missed opportunities. It is about Merri, and her grief. Her missed opportunities.

But I will be hurting too.